Jesus Wept

(I wrote this on Monday, but I felt like I should wait to post it. So I'm posting it now instead)



Today has been harder than most.
There has been so much going through my mind.
So much I've wanted to say, to somehow express my feelings about the tragic death of a dear friend of mine and my family's.
I can't stop thinking about his mother and I am praying that she is being blessed with the comfort she needs.
I could talk about how he was a wonderful person, how we all thought he was headed for great things, how he's in a better place.
But we all know that.
We all feel the loss of such an incredible person.

There seems to be so much sadness right now, I can't even tell you how many stories I've seen lately about babies lost, or missionaries passing.
The Lord seems to be calling so many angels home.
As I've been thinking about all of these things, I keep thinking about the end of the movie Charlie when Sam is talking about how Jesus wept when he came to Mary and Martha after their brother Lazarus had died. It has been a long time since I saw the movie but, as I remember he points out the significance of the fact that Christ knew that it was going to be ok, that it was going to turn out alright. But he took that moment to cry with the grieving sisters, to comfort them when they needed it.
He knew they had knowledge of the Plan of Salvation. He knew that they had faith in it, that they knew they would see their beloved brother again. Yet he didn't scold them for crying and being sad.
Instead he wept with them.

It's ok to be sad. It's ok to mourn the loss of someone so close to us.
When these things happen we tend to hear so much about how we shouldn't be sad. How that person wouldn't want us to be. We almost start to feel guilty about feeling, keenly, our loss. But I think the Lord and our loved ones know that we need to mourn, we need to weep sometimes. Yes, it's ultimately going to be ok. Yes, this is when the incredible Plan of Salvation should be a comfort to us. This is the time when we can really experience and appreciate the atonement and its ability to heal some of the deepest wounds.
Those are important things.
But it's also important to allow time to grieve.

Sometimes our strongest moments are born from the tears we have shed and the sorrows we have felt.

I hope to raise strong children and I hope that I also raise them to understand that it is ok to be sad, it is ok to cry, it is ok to mourn. Because, to me, that is also strength.

There is so much that I would like to say about my friend. Right now, it's hard to find the words.
So instead I'll just say that I hope we all continue to keep Peter and his mom in our prayers and be sensitive to the family's needs and requests at this time.

A quote and a song keep coming to mind when I think about Peter passing. The quote is by Jeffrey R. Holland from my favorite talk. The talk is titled "For Times of Trouble" and it has been a great help and support to me for many many years. The quote goes:

"In the gospel of Jesus Christ you have help from both sides of the veil and you must never forget that. When disappointment and discouragement strike - and they will - you remember and never forget that if our eyes could be opened we would see horses and chariots of fire as far as the eye can see riding at reckless speed to come to our protection. They will always be there, these armies of heaven, in defense of Abraham's seed."
The song is Nearer My God to Thee. It became one of my favorite hymns when I was on my mission. But I keep thinking about the last verse. It goes:

"Or if, on joyful wing
Cleaving the sky,
Sun, moon, and stars forgot,
Upward I fly,
Still all my song shall be
Nearer my God, to thee,
Nearer my God, to thee,
Nearer to thee!"
I hope you all know that I know the gospel is true. That we have a loving Heavenly Father. That I believe, firmly, in the blessings of the temple.
And I am so grateful for that knowledge.
My thoughts and prayers are with all of those I know who have recently sent angels to be with their Heavenly Father. I hope the knowledge that they are now part of those armies of heaven and that they are now nearer to Him is some comfort in such difficult times.

Less Than Three,
Sarah

For more information about the Plan of Salvation, go here
http://www.lds.org/bc/content/shared/content/english/pdf/language-materials/36950_eng.pdf?lang=eng

For the talk by Jeffrey R. Holand, go here
http://www.lds.org/new-era/1980/10/for-times-of-trouble?lang=eng

And to listen to a great version of Nearer My God to Thee, go here
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKsr49csFYk

Sonograms, Names, and Registries! OH MY!

Since I know most of you probably clicked on the link to see the sonogram pictures, we'll do those first!

These are from the ultrasound we had over a month ago, so he has probably grown quite a bit!



This one may be one of my favorites. Such little toes!



And this one is just dang cute!



Now, for those of you who don't know already, we have decided to name him James Alan Dewey!
James is Larry's and my father's middle name and Alan is Larry's father's name. We both really prefer family names and names that mean something, so it works well!

They have "officially" changed my due date from December 12th to January 2nd because he's measuring a few weeks smaller than they expected. However, Larry and I were both small babies and we were both born early, so...I have a feeling that we might just have a small baby and he could still be born in December. We were also kinda surprised that they measured him very conservatively, they drew the lines to measure very tightly. When they didn't draw them so tight, the due date was pretty much spot on.
We'll see what happens! He'll come out when he's good and ready!

Also, I finally got around to putting together a baby registry! We are registered at diapers.com and Babies R Us! For diapers.com, you just need to search for my first and last name and it should pull it up! For Babies R Us, you can search by my first and last name (married or maiden), by my husband's name, or by the grandparent's names (Terry and Cindy Hess, or Nancy Dewey)! I must say, I kinda like that the registry is searchable that way! I have to admit, it was SO MUCH nicer to register for baby things than it was to register for our wedding! I can't even begin to tell you how many hours upon hours we spent on Bed Bath and Beyond's website trying to register when we got married!
Creating a baby registry however, was fun! There are so many cute things and it was a blast to go through them all.

It's starting to sink in more and more that this is actually happening! Its taken a little while! I'd ask Larry why I was so tired or why my pants weren't fitting any more and he'd say, "You're pregnant!" or just point to my stomach to which I would respond "Noooo that's false. Lies and slander." But I'm actually feeling the baby move now (which, by the way, if seeing a little person in my stomach on a computer screen wasn't weird enough, feeling something moving around in there is down right freaky! Cool, but freaky!) and I think that helps make it feel all the more real.

Ok, so in non-baby related news! We should be hearing about the Air Force any day now...really...any day...(Waiting is such fun)
We are about 95% sure that Larry will be put in a job this month which means we will finally find out when he will go into basic training. With all of the Air Force drama last month, we ended up needing to talk to the recruiter's superior and when Larry discussed the situation and that one of the issues we had was that he would go into basic training pretty much two days before the baby was due, the officer told him that when one of his jobs does drop down, if it interferes with Larry being there for our baby's birth, to let them know and they would work around it so that he can definitely be here for the baby being born.

We also have my parents coming down to live with us for a little while as they search for jobs etc. It will be very nice to have them around and I'm looking forward to it!

I started to write a post about our California adventures, but there is just so much to say and tell that I think I can just sum it up by stating that we had a good time, Jen was a gorgeous bride, I'm very grateful for my husband and how willing he is to help anyone and everyone in any way he can, and Disneyland was excellent! We probably won't go back to Disneyland when I'm pregnant ever again, but it wasn't all that bad! Our anniversary was wonderful! In some ways this has been the slowest and the fastest year ever, all at the same time! We are looking forward to celebrating our anniversary next year!

Anyway, that's about all I have for now! I hope you are all doing well, and are looking forward to fall and the holidays as much as we are!!

Less Than Three,
Sarah