Thursday, June 27, 2013

169 Years Ago Today




Today is the 169th anniversary of Joseph Smith's death.
I couldn't help but think back to the talk given by Jeffrey R. Holland about The Book of Mormon and the incredible testimony he bore of the truth and divinity of The Book of Mormon.
He talks about as the small group was headed to Carthage Jail, where they knew they would lose their lives, Joseph and Hyrum Smith read passages from The Book of Mormon.
He continues:

" In this their greatest—and last—hour of need, I ask you: would these men blaspheme before God by continuing to fix their lives, their honor, and their own search for eternal salvation on a book (and by implication a church and a ministry) they had fictitiously created out of whole cloth?

Never mind that their wives are about to be widows and their children fatherless. Never mind that their little band of followers will yet be “houseless, friendless and homeless” and that their children will leave footprints of blood across frozen rivers and an untamed prairie floor. Never mind that legions will die and other legions live declaring in the four quarters of this earth that they know the Book of Mormon and the Church which espouses it to be true. Disregard all of that, and tell me whether in this hour of death these two men would enter the presence of their Eternal Judge quoting from and finding solace in a book which, if not the very word of God, would brand them as imposters and charlatans until the end of time? They would not do that! They were willing to die rather than deny the divine origin and the eternal truthfulness of the Book of Mormon. "

At the time that Joseph Smith translated The Book of Mormon, Emma Smith said of him that he couldn't dictate a well-worded letter let alone a book of such epic proportions.
I've seen a list of challenges to write a book similar to The Book of Mormon. When you read through them, you realize the impossibility and improbability of this book coming from any other means than by divine help and guide.
They are as follows:

1. Write a history of ancient Tibet covering a period of 2200 B.C. to 400 A.D. Why ancient Tibet? Because you know no more about Tibet than Joseph Smith (or anyone else) knew about ancient America.
2. You must be 23 years of age.
3. You must have no more than three years of formal education and must have spent your life in a backwoods farming community
4. Your book must be 522 pages, and over 300,000 words in length.
5. Your history must be written on the basis of what you know. There was no library, and no published works on Ancient America for Joseph Smith to reference, so you must use none. There is to be no research of any kind.
6. Other than a few minor grammatical errors and corrections, you must make no changes in the text. The first edition you dictate to your secretary must stand forever.
7. As you dictate to your secretary you may not make corrections to your text. You may not ask to have the last sentence or paragraph reread. When you stop for a break, even for days, you may not reread your manuscript to pick up where you left off.
8. This book is to contain the history of two distinct and separate nations, along with histories of different contemporary nations or groups of people.
9. You must describe their religious, economic, political, and social cultures and institutions. You must cover every phase of their society, including the names of their coins, weights and measures.
10. You must change your style of writing many times to make the book appear to have been written by many authors since you will claim many ancient authors contributed to the book, each with his own style.
11. You will weave into your history the religion of Jesus Christ, and the pattern of Christian living, and the Mosaic law.
12. You must claim that your narrative is not fiction at all, but a true and sacred history.
13. You must include in your book 54 chapters dealing with wars, 21 historical chapters, 55 chapters on prophecy and visions, and remember when you begin to write on visions and prophecies you must have your record agree meticulously with the bible without being able to reference it. You must write 71 chapters on doctrine and exhortation, and here again, you must check every statement against a flawless memory of the Bible (since you can have no resource documents,) or you will be proven a fraud. You must write 21 chapters on the ministry of Christ, and everything that you claim He said and did and every testimony you write in your book must agree absolutely with the New Testament even though you may not reference it.
14. Many of the facts, claims and ideas and statements given as truth in your writings must be entirely inconsistent with the prevailing beliefs of the world. Some of your claims must prove to be the direct opposite of the prevailing worldly beliefs of the time.
15. Included in your narration will be authentic modes of travel; whether or not those ancient people used fire; descriptions of their clothing, crops, animals, roads, war strategies, mourning customs, and types of government. You must invent about 280 new names that will stand up under scrutiny through the years as to their historical roots and derivations.
16. You will have to use properly, figures of speech, similes, metaphors, narrations, expositions, descriptions, oratory, epic, lyric, logic, and parables.
17. You must invite the ablest scholars and experts to scrutinize your text with care, and you must strive diligently to see that your book gets into the hands of those eager to prove it a forgery, and those who are most competent to expose every flaw in it.
18. Through investigation, scientific and historical evidence, and archeological discovery for the next 175 years, your critics must verify your claims and prove detail after detail to be true; for many of the details you put into your book are still buried beneath the soil of Tibet and won’t be discovered until after your death.
19. You must publish it to every nation, kindred, tongue and people, declaring it o be the word of God, and another witness for the Lord Jesus Christ.
20. The book must not contain any absurd, impossible or contradictory statements. Your history must not contain any statement that will contradict any other statement elsewhere in the volume.
21. Many theories and ideas as to your book’s origin must arise, and after examining all the facts, they must all fall. You have claimed that your knowledge has come from a divine origin, and this claim continues to stand as the only possible origin and explanation. The strength of this explanation must not decrease as time passes, but actually increase to the point to where it becomes the only logical explanation.
22. Your record is to fulfill many Bible prophecies, even the exact manner in which it shall come forth, to whom delivered, its purpose and its accomplishments.
23. You must call down from heaven an angel in the middle of the day and have him bear witness to four honest, dignified citizens of your community and the world. They must remain steadfast in their testimony, not for profit, or gain, but under the great sacrifice and severe persecution, even to their death beds. You shall put their testimony to the test by becoming enemies to these men, and yet have them never recant their words.
24. Thousands of great men, intellectual giants, national and international personalities, and scholars for the next 175 years must accept your history and its teachings even to the point of laying down their lives rather than deny their testimony of it.
25. You must include in your record this promise, “And when ye shall receive these things I would exhort you, that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask, with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, He will manifest it unto you by the power of the Holy Ghost.”
26. Millions must bear record to the world for the next 175 years that they know the record to be true because they put your promise to the test and found it to be true. The truth of it was manifested unto them by the power of the Holy Ghost.
27. Over 80,000 competent men must be so convinced of the truth of your book that they gladly give up two or more years of their lives to take it to all parts of the world for distribution. They not only pay their own way during these two years, but return bearing their testimonies that their time spent will remain as one of the highlights of their lives. They receive nothing for their journey and efforts but the joy of having shared your book with others.
28. Your book is not only to raise the standards of millions of people, but do it in such a way that those people may become one of the great moral, ethical and dynamic marvels of the day. They must become known and receive world renown for this.
29. To substantiate your claims you must for the next 20 years watch those that follow you, your family, and dearest of your loved ones be persecuted, driven time after time from their homes, beaten, tortured, starved, frozen and killed. Tens of thousands must undergo the most extreme hardships in your presence just because they believe your claims concerning the origin and content of what your have written to be true.
30. You must gain no wealth from your work but many times lose all that you have. Like those that believe you, you must submit yourself to the most vile persecutions. And after 20 years of this, give your own life in a very savage and brutal manner for your testimony concerning your book. All this you must do willingly and without remorse.
31. Start right now and produce this record, which covers 2700 years of history, doing it, not in the peaceful atmosphere of your community, but under the most trying of circumstances, which includes being driven from your home several times, and receiving constant threats upon your life. Please have your book completed; talk a friend into mortgaging his farm to raise the money to have it printed, and do it all in under 60 working days
(source of the list here I tried to find the actual talk it was taken from, but I was unable to)
Fairly impressive isn't it?
I wish that I could write to do justice to the strength of my feelings on this subject.
I will leave you with the end of the talk by Jeffrey R. Holland because the witness he bears is so strong and so powerful.
I know it to be true.
I know that Joseph Smith was a prophet.
I know that he translated The Book of Mormon and that it is the word of God.



I ask you to find out for yourself. Search lds.org and mormon.org and if you have more questions, get in touch with missionaries in your area.
It is worth finding out for yourself.


Less Than Three,
Sarah

(Read or watch the full talk here)

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Pet Peeves



I find that most of my pet peeves have to do with grammar.
So it's time for a quick grammar lesson.

1. Me vs. I

This seems to be an ongoing battle that very few people understand.
I don't know when the misconception began that using "I" was always more proper than using "me".
But it's false!
So, how can you tell when it's better to use one or the other?
Here's a simple rule of thumb:
When listing yourself with other people, for instance when labeling a picture, take the other people out of the sentence.
Usually you'll see "This is so-and-so and I at the zoo!" but take the other person out of the sentence and what do you have left? "This is I at the zoo!" Awkward and incorrect! So the proper way to phrase it would be "This is so-and-so and me at the zoo!"
A good time to use "I" would be in the following example. "So-and-so and I went to the mall." Take the other person out and you're left with "I went to the mall." Proper usage of "I"!
This is probably my number one pet peeve.
I cringe every time and my soul cries.

2. Your & You're

This one boggles my mind.
I thought we all learned this in first grade! "You're" is a contraction. Remember those? Where you put two words together and add an apostrophe? It means "you are" and is NOT the same as "your"! "Your", at its simplest level, is used when discussing possessions. "That is YOUR hat!" "There goes YOUR car!" SO! When you are trying to tell someone that they are something, please stop using "your" and use "you're".
For example, when you go to comment on this and tell me that I am a grammar crazy English freak, please use the correct:
"You're a grammar crazy English freak!"
Thank you.

3. A & An

Another quick and easy trick to know when you should use one or the other:
Always put "a" before a consonant and "an" before a vowel.
For instance:
"I bought A Vase at the store today!"
vs.
"I'm going to see AN Opera tonight!"
Easypeasy!

I think I'll leave it at that for now.
I could go on and on, but from there it gets into spelling and, well, I feel a little hypocritical getting on people about spelling because I am actually pretty terrible at it! As many of you can attest!
I also tend to overuse commas and under use semicolons.
So I'm not perfect when it comes to spelling and grammar and I'll admit it!
But, when it comes to these few things, I'm a little bit of a stickler and it drives me nuts!!
Anyway, that's all for now.
Happy times with grammar!

Less Than Three,
Sarah


OH! Wait! I thought of one last thing!
I only ever run into this with fellow Mormons.
Ever since the movie "The Best Two Years", everyone thinks that the proper grammar when referring to multiple copies of The Book of Mormon is "Books of Mormon". I hate to break it to you, but IT IS NOT!
For this reason:
The proper title is "The Book of Mormon" so REALLY we should be saying "The Book of Mormons" because you place the plural indicator at the end of the title, not in the middle of it. But, I'm willing to overlook "The" and just add the "s" to the end, thus "Book of Mormons". So stop thinking you're being grammatically correct when you say "Books of Mormon" and just say "Book of Mormons".
Let's put it another way.
War and Peace, if you had multiple copies of War and Peace you wouldn't say "Wars and Peace" you would say "War and Peaces".
Granted I don't think you have to actually make it plural, I think it's better to indicate multiples in other ways when referring to books of the same title. BUT! It's another pet peeve!
And it drives me insane!


(Picture found here)

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Ain't We Got Fun?



Reasons why pregnancy is SOOO awesome...
1. Those stories about cravings?
So totally misleading!
So far, it's nothing like that. It's more, a thought of a food item flits across my mind and I think
"huh, ya, that doesn't make me want to vomit. Maybe I should try it?"
Supposedly there's still time for the cravings to really kick in full force, but so far...it's pretty much two categories:
things that the very thought of make me believe I might be violently ill, and things that I can stand to at least think about.
AND they're never the same one day to the next.

2. There is a treasure trove of things that you should and should not
do/breath/eat/take/drink/look at sideways.
Those of you who have ever ridden the "Winnie the Pooh" ride at Disneyland know that there are rides you can go on while you're pregnant. Surprisingly there is actually a large population which believes you can't go near ANY rides at Disneyland when you're expecting!
I installed The Bump app on my phone and there's a whole section titled "is it safe" and there are categories such as
"Are Deodorant and Antiperspirant safe to Use During Pregnancy?",
"Is Botox safe during pregnancy?" (a personal favorite),
"Is it safe to go to the eye doctor during pregnancy?",
"Is peanut butter safe during pregnancy?", is perfume safe, is stretch mark cream safe, is sunscreen safe... the list goes on and on.
I mean, of course, there's the legitimate questions like about different medications and sushi and carrying toddlers.
But, I'm sorry, some of that is a little ridiculous!
I feel like, if you go by all the advice and dos and don'ts, basically the second you discover you're pregnant, you should go live in the woods without human contact and eat berries (the "right" berries of course) sitting, naked, under a tree till you have your baby.

3. Emotions: EVERYWHERE.
You know those funny movies where the wife is pregnant and she's crying one second and laughing the next and then two minutes later she's picking a ridiculous and (after the fact) funny fight with her husband?
IT'S ALL TRUE!!
About a week ago Larry asked me why I was doing something.
When I responded with:
"I'm pregnant!"
he shot back:
"So what?"
Emotions said "Take off your ring and hand it back to him!"
Reason said "Don't be an idiot, I'm sure he didn't mean that the way I took it."
Thankfully, reason won out. But it doesn't always!

4. Ever heard of the term, "round ligament pain"?
Ya...ouch

5. Birth documentaries.
Just don't and say you did.
Trust me, you do NOT want to see that.
Turned that off REAL quick!
I'll put the emotional scarring off till the Lamaze class...

6. Cribs are ridiculously expensive.
I was just looking around one day online and I came across (I kid you not) a $4,000 crib. It was metal and shaped to look like Cinderella's pumpkin coach (picture above).
People actually buy that??
I held a brief fantasy of getting a cute metal crib with bunnies on it (kinda going for a Peter Rabbit/Beatrix Potter nursery idea) but that didn't last long!
A regular wood crib would be cute!
Hand-me-down might be even better!

I know there's more, but I can't think of it at the moment. (I guess that's another one, you thought wedding brain was bad when you were engaged and wedding planning?? Try pregnant brain!)
Anyway, there are some perks:
if I "crave" it Larry gets it for me (I'm getting spoiled!)
and people are really nice to you when they find out you're expecting.
And I guess there's the whole baby thing too.
That's kind of a big perk.

Less Than Three,
Sarah


P.S. Moral of the story, my husband is a saint and I do not deserve him!
He's getting spoiled for Father's Day!


(picture found here)